DEALING
WITH TODDLERS FEARS
Fear is common in early childhood particularly between the
ages of two and six years. Fear triggers change with the
child’s age and there is a typical pattern of fears
as a child develops. However because all children are different
fears may not follow the following pattern and some eighteen
month olds might have fears about the toilet while a three
year old may suddenly become afraid of dogs
•
For infants and young toddlers
the predominant fear is fear of strangers
• At about
eighteen months fear of animals, sudden noises, doctors
and nurses come into prominence
• At around
age two the fears include the toilet, the dark, people
dressed up e.g. clowns and even Santa Clause
• About two
and half years when the imagination is developing toddlers
begin to worry about imaginary creatures
Remember
that these fears are normal and part of a child’s normal
development but understanding childhood fears and how to handle
them is important for parents.
The
reason for fears is because as children mature they are
able to grasp the concept of cause
and effect but with their limited experience they are unable
to sort out all the possibilities for each situation. For
example if the water flushes down the toilet isn’t
it possible that I could be flushed
away too, if the neighbours dog suddenly jumped up on daddy
won’t all dogs jump up on people including me.
Toddlers are aware that they are small compared to those
around them and this sense of size
difference can be a cause of fear. Their growing imagination
helps them to develop their social skills through play,
enjoyment and fun but it can also be the source of fear.
Babies usually forget
frightening incidents e.g. injections but toddlers can retain
that memory for a long time and many traditional stories
like Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Bears can trigger
fears.
Toddlers are also self cantered and all toys belong to them,
all attention focuses on them and all experiences happen
to them so if anything scary happens to anyone in a book
or a TV programme
it can happen to them. They also can become afraid of the
things other toddlers display fear of.
The
following tips may help:
•
Acknowledge the fear as real and try
to find the source (scary books, scary cartoons)
• When talking
about fears with your child use stories to discuss the fear
for example if your toddler has a fear of the toilet a story
book about a child who uses the toilet without any mishap
will help. Simple books that explain the fears are usually
helpful
• Standing
close to a toddler and watching the water flush down the
toilet may help him/her to face the fear but you may have
to do this several times before they are happy
• Using a gradual
approach to overcoming fears often works for example holding
them at a safe distance and watching, to standing closer
and then allowing them to flush the toilet often works
• Never make
fun of your child’s fears but helping a child to relax
can in the end reduce fears
• Beware of
overemphasising the fear because that could lead to the
discovery that expressing fear is a reliable route to parental
attention
• Make sure
you are not responsible for the fear because sometimes fear
in children is triggered by repeated parental warning and
because of this it is important to be aware of your own
fears and find ways of dealing with them
Frances
Byatt-Smith RN RHV BA Psychology
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