THE
SHY CHILD
Many
young children are anxious in unfamiliar situations but
grow out of it as they mature. The shy child will hide behind
their parent if they feel they are the centre of attention
in a new situation and particularly when they meet someone
new.
They
may take longer to play with other children in new situations
for example when they first attend nursery or when visiting
other family members who have children the same age but
they do not know well.
They
will be reluctant to join in and just watch from the sidelines.
For those children who are extremely shy opportunities to
develop and practice social skills are reduced and they
also miss out on many fun activities with other children.
Because of this they may be less confident and have a reduced
self-esteem.
Many
Psychologists believe that the possible cause for shyness
is a combination of factors which include genetics and personality.
Other suggested causes are learned behaviour from perhaps
a shy or overprotective parent, being bullied by siblings
or fear of failure.
Parents
can feel frustrated by the child’s behaviour and don’t
know what they can do but Parents are the most influential
people in their children’s lives and there are several
things a parent can do to help, but will also depend on
the individual child. The following suggestions may help:
•
It is important not to label your child as shy because there
is a tendency to live up to the labels we are given by others
• Try to prevent
other people labeling your child as shy either
• When your
child is displaying shy behaviour be supportive and understanding
instead of trying to cajole them out of it
• Tell them
about times when you have felt shy and what helped you to
overcome it. Telling them about your experiences helps them
to feel better and helps to reduce their anxiety
• Try to be
outgoing and confident. Children learn from their parents
behaviour and model that behaviour
• Work out
coping strategies with your child and practice them by role
playing situations, but make them interesting and fun
• Discuss situations
with your child as if you are talking to yourself –
saying where you are going, what you are going to do, what
it will possibly be like when you get there and how you
will behave. Invite the child with you and have a chat about
how it went when you come home
• Praise your
child for small improvements in handling unfamiliar situations
(saying hello or smiling at another child)
• Notice the
things your child does well and encourage them with praise
and support
