My four-year-old has been toilet trained since he was two and a half years old. However, he has never been able to do a pooh on either the potty or toilet. He wants to do it in pull up pants or a nappy, and gets very distressed at the idea of using the potty or toilet. He has never soiled himself - he is very aware of when he needs a pooh and always asks for a nappy to be put on. I have tried star charts, rewards, praise, reading stories while he sits on the toilet, putting a nappy over the potty, and just about everything else. he will only do it in his nappy (often he says he's not quite finished although we know he is, and he seems to want to sit in it for as long as possible!). He is due to start Primary School in the summer and I'd really like to have this problem sorted out by then. His Nursery friends already think it's a bit strange and I don't want him to be singled out at Primary School. Please help.

A Thank you for your question and I can understand your worries. This is a very common problem but with patience and consistency you will be able to heap your child to use the toilet successfully before he starts school later theis year. The problem arises because of fear. Many childrena re afraid of pooh because they do not understand what it is all about. It also smells and does not look nice. Small children can also be afraid of the toilet because they have wonderful imaginations and they may see the toilet as one big hole in which they could fall into and be flushed away by the water. One possible readon he may want to sit in his pooh is because he just needs to gather the courage for his nappy change! The best approach to take is to first of all adopt a calm attitude. This is important because when parents are tense the child may become anxious, so try to take a step back and try to stay calm and relaxed.
It is great that your son asks for his nappy when he needs a pooh and pooh's in it so I suggest you begin by:

• Praising him for asking for his nappy when he needs a pooh and for doing the pooh. Do this for one week.

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