My 1yr old daughter has a really bad sleeping pattern she won’t go to bed unless she is asleep first and I have to carry her up then she will only sleep for about 2 to 3 hours then she is up again screaming and won’t settle back down unless she is down stairs in her pushchair but most times she stays up most of the night it is really getting me and my partner down, myself mostly as I can’t leave the room without her crying for me its like I have to be next to her 24hrs a day 7 days a week. I was just wondering weather there is anything I can do to help her sleep right through the night and to get her out of being clingy?

A Your daughter is waking up during the night because she is being put to bed asleep and has never learned to go to sleep by herself. She is also demonstrating separation anxiety which is normal for this stage in her emotional development and this is probably one of the reasons she is so clingy and wants to be with you all the time. She is also aware that if she screams she will in the end get what she wants.
Understanding the sleep process is essential before you start to tackle this problem so I will briefly describe it first. A block of sleep contains multiple sleep cycles which include falling asleep, waking and returning to sleep and these blocks occur for adults every ninety minutes and for babies approximately every hour. Your baby is not returning to sleep but is waking up and being rewarded by being picked up and taken downstairs to her pushchair. The only way to break the cycle is to doing this which is easier said than done. Whatever you choose to do to get your baby sleeping through the night it is important to be consistent and give it a chance to work. It will not be easy and may take up to four weeks before you see any real improvement.

• The first suggestion is to establish a sleep time routine. A good way to remember it is “The Three B’s”, bath, bedclothes and bed. Start the preparation for bed early, have a quiet time with soft music, a story, a cuddle which help the child to learn the bedtime cues. Have the same routine also for the day time naps.
• Once she is settled and you have read her a story sit on a chair close to the bed and do not leave the room until she is asleep. Some parents sit reading a book and if you want to do this a little clip on light on your book may help. Other parents use a walkman (ipod) and listen to music to help them keep calm.
• Do not speak or look at her
• If she screams do your best to ignore it and return her to the lying position.
• If she tries to sit up. Gently and calmly, put her in the lying position again.
• It will be very difficult for the first few nights, sometimes the problem gets worse because she may be testing you to see if you are serious or not.
• Each night move the chair slightly away from the cot/bed, gradually moving the chair towards the door. When the chair is outside the door your child should be sleeping and the programme is finished.
• If she wakes during the night you will have to resume your position on the chair.
• Some parents start the programme by sitting on the child bed or sometimes lying with them before sitting on the chair. However if your child is in a cot this may be difficult to do so you might try holding her hand to start with and gradually moving your hand away before moving the chair.
• I usually suggest to parents to start this on a Friday night or when both parents are around for two to three nights and do not have to get up for work the next day. This way they are more likely to follow it through and see some improvement which helps them to continue.

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