This is the first
in a series of articles discussing childhood habits.
Most children during their childhood develop habits that are worrying,
annoying and embarrassing to parents. There is
usually a reason for a habit and understanding
the reason will help to bring about the desired change. Habits
are sometimes age related
and children grow out of them naturally. Many habits last
longer because we notice them and are continually
trying to change them.
Causes of habits
-
Habits develop
at a time when a child is learning
to cope with stress for example using a dummy
can be one way for a child to feel comforted when he/she is
experiencing stress.
-
Habits sometimes start or continue when a child
is stressed about something that is happening is his/her life
-
Habits can be a way of children comforting
themselves
-
Habits can feel
good e.g. masturbation. They usually occur at
a time when children are exploring their bodies and do not know
that it is something not done in public
-
Habits can be due to developmental delay
When trying to change a habit encouragement
works better than punishment. Punishment can make
a child more worried making them more likely to need to indulge
in the comforting habit.
Why do Children need
comforters?
-
Comforters help
children to learn how to cope without a parent
being there to look after them
-
Sucking on a dummy, thumb, toy of special blanket
or cloth gives comfort when they need it especially at bed time
and in new situations. Some children
will need their comforters more than others
during the early years.
-
When children
feel secure they usually give them up. This
can be anytime between two and four years. However many children
may still like their teddy for much longer and sometimes into
the teenage years and beyond!
-
It is best not
to take away comforters while the child needs
them particularly in the first two years because they may
feel more anxious and upset without them. They
also are unable to understand the reasoning behind the removal
of the comforter.
-
When the parent sees that the child needs the
comforter less they can help him/her
to give it up by suggesting that the child
puts the comforter somewhere safe while playing
but can have it when needed.
Encourage the child to put it in a place that will be easy to
get when necessary. This way the child is in control of changing
the habit.
-
If your child is entering a new situation like
starting playgroup and still needs the comforter in new situations.
It could be pinned inside a pocket
so that the child could touch it if they are
feeling stressed. This is particularly useful if the child is
worried about taking it to playgroup.
-
All children are
different and some need a comforter after four
years so try to find ways of making your child’s life
less stressful.
-
Dummies and thumbs
are the most common comforters and many dentists
suggest that it is best for children to have
given them up before six years
of age.
Children usually grow
out of all habits in time. Providing love, understanding
and a secure, interesting environment for your child is the best
way to reduce stress and help your child cope with the changes
they will experience as they grow up.
Frances
Byatt-Smith RN RHV BA Psychology
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