This is the first in a series of articles discussing childhood habits. Most children during their childhood develop habits that are worrying, annoying and embarrassing to parents. There is usually a reason for a habit and understanding the reason will help to bring about the desired change. Habits are sometimes age related and children grow out of them naturally. Many habits last longer because we notice them and are continually trying to change them.

Causes of habits

• Habits develop at a time when a child is learning to cope with stress for example using a dummy can be one way for a child to feel comforted when he/she is experiencing stress.
• Habits sometimes start or continue when a child is stressed about something that is happening is his/her life
• Habits can be a way of children comforting themselves
• Habits can feel good e.g. masturbation. They usually occur at a time when children are exploring their bodies and do not know that it is something not done in public
• Habits can be due to developmental delay

When trying to change a habit encouragement works better than punishment. Punishment can make a child more worried making them more likely to need to indulge in the comforting habit.

Why do Children need comforters?

• Comforters help children to learn how to cope without a parent being there to look after them
• Sucking on a dummy, thumb, toy of special blanket or cloth gives comfort when they need it especially at bed time and in new situations. Some children will need their comforters more than others during the early years.
• When children feel secure they usually give them up. This can be anytime between two and four years. However many children may still like their teddy for much longer and sometimes into the teenage years and beyond!
• It is best not to take away comforters while the child needs them particularly in the first two years because they may feel more anxious and upset without them. They also are unable to understand the reasoning behind the removal of the comforter.

How can parents help?

• When the parent sees that the child needs the comforter less they can help him/her to give it up by suggesting that the child puts the comforter somewhere safe while playing but can have it when needed. Encourage the child to put it in a place that will be easy to get when necessary. This way the child is in control of changing the habit.
• If your child is entering a new situation like starting playgroup and still needs the comforter in new situations. It could be pinned inside a pocket so that the child could touch it if they are feeling stressed. This is particularly useful if the child is worried about taking it to playgroup.
• All children are different and some need a comforter after four years so try to find ways of making your child’s life less stressful.
• Dummies and thumbs are the most common comforters and many dentists suggest that it is best for children to have given them up before six years of age.

Children usually grow out of all habits in time. Providing love, understanding and a secure, interesting environment for your child is the best way to reduce stress and help your child cope with the changes they will experience as they grow up.

Frances Byatt-Smith RN RHV BA Psychology

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