Good child behaviour needs encouragement but sometimes parents of badly behaved children believe that there is nothing they can do to change their child’s behaviour. There are many things a parent can do by looking at:

• The reasons behind bad behaviour
• Looking at ways to encourage good behaviour

Reasons for bad behaviour

Here are some possible reasons:

• Good behaviour is not noticed, praised or rewarded
• There are too many rules, so they are ignored
• The child does not know what he can and can’t do because there are no limits.
• The rules are not made clear to the child
• You are inconsistent about rules and keep changing your mind
• You use threats but don’t follow them through so the child does not bother to try
• There are too many rules, so they are ignored
• The child does not know what he can and can’t do because there are no limits.
• The rules are not made clear to the child
• You are inconsistent about rules and keep changing your mind
• You use threats but don’t follow them through so the child does not bother to try.
  

How to encourage good behaviour

• Give good attention to good behaviour by noticing and being pleased about it. Children who are brought up with love and attention by mum and dad grow into happier adults. Most parents do love their children, spend time with them listening and playing with them but sometimes forget to acknowledge the good behaviour and in our society we have a habit of noticing only bad behaviour.
• Try to have rules and stick to them. If you have too many rules it will be impossible for you to be consistent so decide what are the most important rules for your family and your child will soon learn what they are
• Be clear and positive when you are telling your child what is required of them and mean what you say and be prepared to follow it through. Give limited choices in a calm friendly voice e.g. “you can have one toy would you like the car or the ball”
• Praise and reward good behaviour. Praise, notice and comment on attempts, efforts and improvements. Try to catch your child being good and look for small things that you can praise and tell the child why you are pleased. Rewards can be a hug, a story, playing a favourite game with them, a walk in the park, watching television or anything you know the child likes to do. Reward good behaviour immediately and give lots of small rewards often. Have different rewards otherwise your child will get bored.
• Some parents find star charts help to improve behaviour but for some children they do not work and have the reverse effect by highlighting the child’s failure to be good.
• Try to relax and enjoy your children by spending as much time as possible with them

Remember that all children are different and you might need to adapt some of these ideas before you try them in your family, for further advice contact your local Health Visitor or GP.

Frances Byatt-Smith RN RHV BA Psychology

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